Piano Lesson. Steve guided and supported me as I walked through all of the Liszt finding patterns. It is so amazing to me, to finally be able to speak the language of theory fluently enough to be able to do this. And I really do have the entire piece!
Steve talked about how surprised he was at the Salon to hear that I have gained coherence regarding Chopin’s Valse Brillante. Some door opened for me, whereby I allow myself to use Chopin’s notes to express my inner world. Also understanding the piece as deeply paradoxical and disturbing, not as „nice.“
OREN. I sought contact with Oren. He went with me visiting my family of origin. As I watched, he went up to Zaiga in various violent scenes of my childhoold and intervened to protect me. He grabbed her by the writsts and commanded her to stop whatever the abuse was that she was committing against me. He was calm, strong and fearless. „What are you doing to this boy?!?“ he demanded in each instance. „What are you doing to this beautiful boy?!?“ I could see Zaiga’s wounds and deep Fear in the face of him, as could Oren. And, Oren cut her no slack in protecting me. The same happened with Armīns and Varimants. Oren named acts of violence being committed against me and protected me. What an act of Love on his part!
I realized that, while when with only me, Oren is always unclothed, that when we are with others, he is dressed. He naked beauty is for my eyes only.
He wants and needs my love. Not anything else, just my attention and love. He is 100% my ally, ready to support and protect me.
