My sleep of late is deep and solid, filled with dreams, which I’ve not been recalling. Nor have I been journaling. How come? I have been busy with Shelf Life Blues and Dreamways stuff, this is true. But why no journaling? A sense of avoiding inward gazing. A sense that if I want to be doing those projects, and HOA stuff too, that I can’t blend it with journal keeping. But why not? There is no logistical reason, I don’t think. But there is that aspect of myself that doesn’t like multi-tasking, the part that likes to dive head first into one project and ignore others. Mr. Practical likes to avoid Mr. Romantic, Mr. Soulful.
The notion of doing all the various projects (HOA, SLB, Dreamways, Piano, exercise, reading etc. etc.) a little bit each day, but every day, feels daunting to me. For some reason a core part feels that – what??? That I can’t juggle so many balls each day. That I will become too, too regimented. That I will lose my freedom, my sense of self. That I’ll not be a Free Spirit. That I’ll become trapped. That I’ll prove myself incompetent somehow. That, if I take my Dreams seriously, they’ll be taken away from me?