"Kokomo, Ind. A man accidentally shot himself in the groin as he was robbing a convenience store Tuesday, police said. A clerk told police that a man carrying a semiautomatic handgun entered the Village Pantry demanding cash and a pack of cigarettes. The clerk put the cash in a bag, and as she turned to get the cigarettes, she heard the gun discharge. Police say surveillance video shows the man shooting himself as he placed the gun in the waistband of his pants. The clerk wasn’t injured. A short time later, police found Derrick Kosch, 25, at home with a gunshot wound to his right testicle and lower left leg. Kosch was released from the hospital … and booked into the Howard County jail on charges of armed robbery, criminal recklessness and battery. He is being held on a $100,000 cash bail.“ ("Robber Shoots Himself in Groin,“ The Denver Post, 17 Jan 08)
Ouch. The dream called waking life presents us with another far-fetched and implausible scenario, that could be dismissed as "nothing but a crazy dream,“ except that it occurred in waking life. Wincingly, we can sit back and laugh at the poor robber’s tale of pain and woe. We can feel more than relieved, and even superior, that it was not us in his bloody shoes.
However, we can also explore this crazy story as if it were a sleep dream, in order to explore our own lives. We can look at what aspects of this waking nightmare might apply to ourselves. What part of me is a small-time, desperate crook, willing to pull a stupid heist in order to satisfy small-time needs? Is there some area of my life where I am bumbling, fumbling and stumbling along, shooting myself in the foot (or even more delicate parts of the anatomy?) Is there some way that I am wounding my creative drive? Am I taking a foolish risk in some area of my life that will exact a ridiculously high price?
Looked at dreamfully, this waking nightmare reminds us that life is not only surprising, but that it can be insufferably hard. Life is not Disneyland. It can be extremely difficult to get through one day after the other. The pain that we experience can be shatteringly real. If we approach the project of life dreamfully, paying attention, opening our minds and hearts, we can make more useful decisions to get ourselves where we really would rather be, instead of unintentionally shooting ourselves where it hurts the most.
