Dreamways

Being in the Springs is starting to feel natural, less charged with memoried emotion. I am evelopng a new sense of Present World perspective on Springs space. Cragmoor to downtown always felt like a considerable distance, so I was surprised to note yesterday that downtown to UCCS via the highway was a quick ten minute drive, that’s all.

Last night I offered to F that we go to Mori for dinner. „No!‘ he replied. „ I don’t have the money.

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I’m with F at a cozy restaurant. A la Z Cuisine. We are at a long table for ten or so, “family style,” seated across from each other. I am engaging a diner at the table next to / behind us, in banter. I don’t know the fellow, but we are cutting up, laughing. It is friendly and harmless. F glowers at me. “That is totally inappropriate!” he hisses at me. “Huh?” I reply, confused. “What’s inappropriate?”

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No, I am that I am, and they that level

At my abuses, reckon up their own:
I may be straight, thought they themselves be bevel;
By their rank thoguhts my deeds must not be shown;
Unless this general evil they maintain,
All men are bad, and in their badness reign.

- Willie S., sonnet #121

 

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A cold, gray wintery Wednesday morning. Spring has arrived in an ice box.

I am feeling quite stunned after last night’s HOA Owners‘ Meeting. The vote was to retain both Alvin and myself and expel Dell. That result was and is absolutely stunning to me. I was 100% ready to bid the post a fond adieu.

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The first day of spring. Outside, it is blustery and snowing. Two to three inches of whiteness blanket horizontal surfaces. Jackson sits at the stove island, drinking ocffee and reading the paper.

A very social day yesterday. At noon we had lunch in Arvada with the W. Family. Daila was in good spirits. She is now crawling and easily sitting up. She has long, slender fingerlings.

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An interesting event at Monkey Bean yesterday: Mel Mother Fucking Garcia.   I sit down by the front door, saving a chair for F, who was ordering our coffees. The front door opens, an hispanic fellow in his late 30’s, early 40‘s, comes in. He asks me: „Is anyone sitting there?“, referring to the chair I’m saving for F. „Yeah,“ I say. „I’m saving it for my friend.“ With an aggressive tone of voice, he comes back with: „So, where is your friend?!“ „Excuse me?“ „Show me where he is!  read more »

Apmākusies pēcpusdiena. Pelnu krāsā padebeši.

Met with Connie and Gar re Dreamways. Gar is working on our logo. It is fascinating to see the changes he’s brought to our original conept. The version I liked best captured movement as well as the sense of container. I feel quite engaged in the process, especially with an eye to the website, yet, today, somewhat dispassionate too.

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Apparently surfeited, a paucity of writing seems to have overcome me. Silenced me. Now it feels as if I must return to this activity, mostly for the sake of my battered sanity. To get at least part of the writhing welter of thoughts that are churning in my head outside of myself. To cleanse and decompress.

Of late, certainly since returning from Europe (what a superb occurrence was that trip!), I have been in turmoil about the Home Owners’ Assn., about being on the Executive Board.

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Sleep Dream. I am in a large, Victorian-style house. (It is Carl’s house, but not it at all.) A very large parlor room, like a salon. It is a gathering organized by Steve, about piano playing. There are two grand pianos at the front of the space. The seating space is stadium style. There are a couple dozen people present. It is a very informal event, like a group lesson. Steve is talking about technique, the overview of topics / concerns that we talked about at my last [real life] lesson. Steve asks two of the students present to demonstrate at the pianos these technical concepts.  read more »

Eldora. Mid-day Saturday. We arrived up here last night around eleven, having dined at Billie and Jed’s in Boulder. F and I slept in until 10:00 this morning, a couple of sleepyheads. The past weeks feel like I am finding a new / old sense of center in terms of piano playing. It’s like I have space where I can remain, where I can be balanced, rather than off-kilter. It is like I don’t have to throw myself into whatever the piece is, and just be dragged along by some mysterious, inchoate process.

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